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Your vision is clear before you; your objectives set. The path to achieving your goals seems unencumbered and straight. You have done your homework and you are doing the hard work, all of the nice and not so nice bits. With great expectation, you are looking forward to reaping the rewards of your labour and efforts.

Regardless of your best efforts and intentions, calamity strikes. With precision it sends you sprawling, face down in the dust. It leaves you reeling in its aftermath; the easy flow of your unhindered progress abruptly brought to a halt.

Staggering to your feet, perplexed and dazed by the sudden change in direction and movement, a vortex of unfamiliar emotions sucks you in. Chasing the elusive question of “why?”, you try to make sense of what is happening, while seeking to deal with a tidal wave of emotions. You are being frustrated in your mission. You are failing to obtain your goals. Above these, you have to cope with the loss of all that you have hoped to gain from achieving your vision. Forlorn and dejected you look unto a future unknown and you are sure that you have ruined your life forever.

Darkness and despair descend upon you. Choices, free will and a way out, seem few and far between; giving over to the dark and gloomy halls of depression an enticing allure. Wallowing in self-pity, self-flagellation the norm, the ego seeks to deny the inevitable truth of shortcoming and lack of success.  Turning outwards, it points fingers seeking to assign blame in order not to acknowledge its role and share in the calamitous event.

Should the ego choose to remain on this course, there is no turning back from this path of descent into even deeper darkness. Blame turns into bitterness and bitterness into hatred. Eventually all that is good and beneficial will die in the sight of this blight. This affliction holds no hope or redemption.

However, if the soul chooses to step forward and accept responsibility for its part and role in the life-changing event, emotions can be dealt with, loss can be grieved and hope restored.

The ego never steps back willingly nor dies gracefully. Only with great courage and conviction can it be pushed back or swiftly slayed.

Boldly laughing at the self sends the ego fleeing, while owning up and accepting share of the blame places it in fetters. Recounting the painful emotions and events repeatedly, fuels the ego to take up centre stage, playing the victim and demanding pity from all who would listen. Positive reframing dismantles the ego’s hold on the event, freeing it to become an opportunity for learning and growth.

Ego flourishes in pity, draped in the dark mantle of grief, lamenting the perceived loss of all that could be. The valiant soul bravely focusses on that which has been gained and not what might have been lost.

Ego isolates itself, vowing never to try or dare again. Raising up self-protective walls, it keeps life at bay, feeding on the misery and sorrow of has been’s, could have’s and should have’s. The soul dares to revisit the original vision; seeks to re-examine and redefine it. Reconstructing the life story, it ventures out on a new path, seeking the achievement of redefined or new objectives and goals, fearlessly facing the risk of failure.

©Copyright Micelle Coetsee 2015

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