As a free spirit who does not find a comfortable fit, place or niche in the capitalist, male dominated consumer-driven western society, my life has been going through a transformation of my own doing the last couple of years. In response to the global economic, social, political and environmental changes taking place, I have been searching for a place and a space where I can authentically live out my own peculiar worldview, value and existence. I aspire to build a life where I can merge my values, beliefs and worldview with the way that I make a living and live a life that is authentic to me and the person I am and want to be. I prefer to live a life of my own making contrary to a lifestyle of duty and obligation towards an external system, a system that defines and dictates every detail of my way of life.
For the sake of a new way of living and relating, I had to give up my former life and renounce my previous self. Separated from all that was known and familiar to me, I mustered up all my courage to step into and inhabit the new luminal space, a mystifying intermediate state of being. In the last six years I have gotten to know the familiarity of the unknown and the constant discomfort of living life in this twilight zone.
On this journey of my own making there are no safety nets, guarantees, bail-outs or back-up plans. I am creator and savior. I do not have a pre-approved plan but I remain open and flexible as I daily unfold chapter by chapter of my life journey. I choose which challenges I will face head on and which ones you will shy away from to fight another day. I constantly reassess, renegotiate and re-align myself as to my objectives and the path that I have chosen to achieve them. I have been pursuing and pushing my own furthest frontier.
As the author of your life I am the one that determines the parameters, depths, scope, content, etc. of my life. I am the person that gives it meaning and direction. I define the matrix and its value. I discern and discover my destiny.
I am not bound by duty and obligation, but motivated and inspired by whatever I so choose. Most often it is love and life itself, caring for myself, others and the world we live in and the ability to give of myself, that is the driving force behind my motives, actions and decisions. All else is just background detail.
My world is mine to shape. I cannot reach, alter or change the globe but I can change the world that I choose to live in. This I do by altering the way that I perceive or think about my community and environment, by pursuing knowledge and insight that has the ability or the potential to change my perspective and understanding. This may not change the world, but it does change how I view and experience as well as engage and interact with my external as well as internal world.
To live the life of my own making, I am an active participant and not an uninvolved bystander or spectator. I made the decision to do the hard labor and deep soul work in order to create, mold, grow and manage the life that I am creating for myself.
I am not defined by societal or gender roles neither by stereotypes or the expectations of others.
I define my own happiness, my own success or failure and the metaphor to which I live.
I am ME.
©Micelle Coetsee 2017